Surviving and Thriving During the Holiday Season

Author: Diana Gordon, Psy.D.

While the holidays can be a time of tremendous joy and excitement, they can also bring up some negative feelings such as loneliness, stress, anxiety, or boredom. Many of our clients have mixed feelings about the holiday season, and these feelings can sometimes be confusing and difficult to manage. In this post, we’ll talk about some of the common negative feelings that people experience during the holidays. We’ll explore ways to manage those feelings so that you can truly thrive, and not just survive, during this busy and exciting season.

Loneliness
Sometimes the holidays can bring up feelings of loneliness. Some people don’t have family or friends nearby to spend the holidays with, while others might be thinking of and missing people that they’ve lost over the years. Here are some strategies for coping with loneliness:

• Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen or another charitable organization. You’ll be able to spend the holiday surrounded by people, and you’ll feel good about giving back to your community.
• Think about ways to honor and remember those that aren’t with you during the holidays. Perhaps you can play their favorite sport, watch their favorite TV show, or just talk about your memories of them with other people. Find a way to include them in the holiday.
• Use technology to your advantage! Call, facetime, text, or skype with friends and relatives who are celebrating the holidays in different locations.
• Get creative! If your family lives far away, consider organizing a Friendsgiving with your friends, coworkers, and other people who you enjoy spending time with.

Stress and Anxiety
The holidays can bring up a lot of stress and anxiety, as you’re juggling your everyday commitments along with additional demands for your time and attention. Whether you’re traveling for the holidays or coordinating a large gathering at home, you might find that you suddenly have a lot more on your plate than you’re used to. Some people also find that spending more time with people they don’t see very often, such as out of town relatives, can be both exciting and stressful. Try these strategies for unwinding and relieving tension:

• Delegate! If you’re organizing a gathering at home, consider making it potluck style or asking for help. If people offer to help, assign them a task! You don’t have to do it all yourself.
• Get active! Try to find some time for physical activity every day, including on holidays. Taking a quick walk or doing some yoga can help you recenter yourself and release excess energy.
• Meditate, breathe, and practice mindfulness. If you have a meditation practice, don’t let it slide during the holidays. Even a few minutes of meditation can help you manage your anxiety. If you don’t have a meditation practice, check out our post on mindfulness to get started.
• Use your support system. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, talk to a trusted friend or relative to get some perspective and support.

Boredom
Some of our clients find that having a lot of time off from work can lead to feeling bored and restless. You might find that without your regular routine, you feel aimless and have difficulty filling up your time. Try these coping strategies:

• Create a new routine! If you’re not going to work, try making a schedule for yourself on your days off. Wake up around the same time each day, and build in time for exercise, household chores and errands, and leisure time.
• Carve out some time to work on personal projects that you might neglect when you have less time at home.
• Take some time for self reflection with journaling, artwork, or other creative mediums. The holidays are a great time to think about the past year and to set goals for the upcoming year. You might find that you have more clarity and space for reflection when you’re not distracted by work.

Recurrence or worsening of preexisting psychiatric problems (eg clinical depression, anxiety disorders, etc)
Some clients report that their preexisting psychiatric concerns seem to get worse or flare up during the holidays. Sometimes travel schedules make it difficult to see your therapist regularly, and this can make it difficult to cope with worsening symptoms. You might also just be experiencing more stress, which can trigger a recurrence or worsening of your symptoms. Here are some strategies you can try:

• Work with your therapist to create a holiday toolkit of CBT strategies. Review strategies that have worked well for you in the past and talk about how to apply these strategies on your own between sessions. This is great practice for when you will eventually finish therapy and will apply CBT strategies on your own to maintain your progress.
• Identify a strong support network and be ready to draw on their support as needed. Think about people that you can call, text, or email when you need some extra help. Don’t hesitate to reach out to these trusted friends or family members when you need support.
• If you’re really struggling with an increase in psychiatric symptoms, talk to your therapist about your options. You might decide together than an increase in treatment frequency might help during this stressful period. You might also consider alternatives, such as teletherapy or working with a colleague of your therapist if you’re unable to meet regularly during the holidays.

Remember that it’s normal to experience some negative emotions during the holidays. Try the strategies discussed here to help you thrive during this exciting season. Don’t hesitate to contact us for a free consultation if you’d like to get some additional support. Happy Holidays!