Finding A Therapist That Is A Good Fit (Part 2)

Author: Katie Bloom Leoni, Psy.D.
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You’ve spent the time and energy researching therapists and setting up phone consultations. You made an appointment with someone that felt like a good fit. In the second part of this series, we will explore what to pay attention to once you meet in person with your selected therapist.

1. During the first 2-4 sessions, tune into the following areas:

• Do you feel comfortable with this person?
  • “Good fit” can be hard to summarize but feeling comfortable with your therapist is a good indication of fit. Of course, this person is essentially a stranger so it’s alright if you don’t want to share everything from the start. However, check in with yourself about why this is. Is it due to feeling uncomfortable with the therapist? Are you worried you may be judged/labeled? Research has shown that the therapeutic relationship is the biggest indicator of success in treatment and so pay attention to your comfort level in therapy.
• Do you feel heard?
  • Therapists are not mind readers but based on the information that you provide in your sessions, they should have a solid understanding of what is going on for you. If that’s not the case then ideally they’d be curious and gather more information until you feel as though you are both on the same page about your experiences.
• Vocalize what you like/don’t like
  • Although it can be uncomfortable to talk to your therapist about what you think is working and not working in your work together, it is a very important part of any treatment. Your therapist is there to help you and gaining knowledge of your experience is crucial.
• Identify goals for therapy
  • Chances are if you’re entering into therapy, there is a main reason why you are doing so. Do you want to gain new coping skills for your anxiety? Would you like to engage in more social interactions? From the initial session, your therapist should be talking with you about your goals. If necessary, they should help you in identifying and refining realistic goals for treatment.​

2. You’ve decided you want to move forward working with this therapist. As you go on in therapy, pay attention to and talk about the following things:

• Do you feel supported?
  • This may seem like a simple question but it is very important. Do you feel like your therapist has your back? This doesn’t mean that your therapist necessarily agrees with everything you say or do. Rather, that they have your best interests at heart and when they do challenge you (which is part of therapy) it is from a place of knowledge and support.
• Provide feedback
  • Your therapist is there to help support and challenge you. It is helpful to ask yourself what you think is working in therapy as well as areas you wish could be improved. Tell your therapist your thoughts in both of these areas and provide feedback whenever you feel is necessary. Your therapist should welcome feedback and incorporate it into your work with them.
• Symptom progress
  • Progress is not linear, think of it like successful stocks, they go up and down overtime with an overall upward progression. In therapy, the hope is that you gain greater insight into your individual experience and learn new ways of challenging and interacting in the world. If you were to take a bigger picture stance about your therapy work, ideally you would see progress over time. Check in with your therapist about progress you notice and progress you do not.