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Finding A Therapist That Is A Good Fit (Part 2)

2/21/2018

5 Comments

 
Author: Katie Bloom Leoni, Psy.D.
​
You’ve spent the time and energy researching therapists and setting up phone consultations. You made an appointment with someone that felt like a good fit. In the second part of this series, we will explore what to pay attention to once you meet in person with your selected therapist.

1. During the first 2-4 sessions, tune into the following areas:
  • Do you feel comfortable with this person?
    • “Good fit” can be hard to summarize but feeling comfortable with your therapist is a good indication of fit. Of course, this person is essentially a stranger so it’s alright if you don’t want to share everything from the start. However, check in with yourself about why this is. Is it due to feeling uncomfortable with the therapist? Are you worried you may be judged/labeled? Research has shown that the therapeutic relationship is the biggest indicator of success in treatment and so pay attention to your comfort level in therapy.
  • Do you feel heard?
    • Therapists are not mind readers but based on the information that you provide in your sessions, they should have a solid understanding of what is going on for you. If that’s not the case then ideally they’d be curious and gather more information until you feel as though you are both on the same page about your experiences.
  • Vocalize what you like/don’t like
    • Although it can be uncomfortable to talk to your therapist about what you think is working and not working in your work together, it is a very important part of any treatment. Your therapist is there to help you and gaining knowledge of your experience is crucial.
  • Identify goals for therapy
    • Chances are if you’re entering into therapy, there is a main reason why you are doing so. Do you want to gain new coping skills for your anxiety? Would you like to engage in more social interactions? From the initial session, your therapist should be talking with you about your goals. If necessary, they should help you in identifying and refining realistic goals for treatment.​

2. You’ve decided you want to move forward working with this therapist. As you go on in therapy, pay attention to and talk about the following things:
  • Do you feel supported?
    • This may seem like a simple question but it is very important. Do you feel like your therapist has your back? This doesn’t mean that your therapist necessarily agrees with everything you say or do. Rather, that they have your best interests at heart and when they do challenge you (which is part of therapy) it is from a place of knowledge and support.
  • Provide feedback
    • Your therapist is there to help support and challenge you. It is helpful to ask yourself what you think is working in therapy as well as areas you wish could be improved. Tell your therapist your thoughts in both of these areas and provide feedback whenever you feel is necessary. Your therapist should welcome feedback and incorporate it into your work with them.
  • Symptom progress
    • Progress is not linear, think of it like successful stocks, they go up and down overtime with an overall upward progression. In therapy, the hope is that you gain greater insight into your individual experience and learn new ways of challenging and interacting in the world. If you were to take a bigger picture stance about your therapy work, ideally you would see progress over time. Check in with your therapist about progress you notice and progress you do not.
5 Comments
Jordan link
6/16/2018 11:09:33 am

I've been wanting to find a therapy center that we could take my daughter to. I like that you talked about how you should identify the goals you have for behavior therapy, and I think that coping skills would be nice. I'm going to have to look for a few good behavior therapy options and see what we can find!

Reply
Renz Path link
10/18/2018 05:21:32 pm

I do agree with you that to feel at ease with the therapist is an indicator that person is the best match for you. Since you have to be open to the therapist to get over your behavioural issue, you are entering into a new relationship with that professional and that's a good reminder for us to think about. As we are suggesting a therapist for our nephew who is showing an odd behavior in front of people, your article will help us find the right one for him.

Reply
Kate Welling link
12/17/2018 01:53:05 pm

As you said, we should be able to vocalize what you think is working and not working in your appointments together. I think that this would be a good idea so they can personalize the appointments more around you! My son is feeling a lot of anxiety lately, so I will look for a counselor for him. I'd imagine that it would be really beneficial for him.

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Caden Dahl link
1/16/2019 06:45:01 pm

I've been thinking about going in for some therapy soon. I like how you said with the first few sessions, that you want to feel "heard". To me, that is important since the therapist needs to listen to your problems.

Reply
Camille Devaux link
4/24/2019 01:51:29 pm

I have a friend that is thinking about getting a counseling service. She likes the idea that you can get feedback and give feedback. This is a great way to make sure that you are getting the help that you need and she will appreciate this tip.

Reply



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    Diana Gordon, Psy.D., Kari Kagan Psy.D., and Katie Leoni, Psy.D.

    Drs. Gordon, Kagan, and Leoni practice psychotherapy primarily via telehealth. Their areas of expertise include anxiety, sleep, stress, depression, maternal mental health, and addiction. They blog about these topics to provide research-based information about common problems and strategies to help manage them.  

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  • Home
  • About Us
    • Dr. Diana Gordon
    • Dr. Kari Kagan
    • Dr. Katie Leoni
  • Services
    • What we treat
    • Supervision, Consultation, Training, and Workshops
    • Online/Live Video Psychotherapy (Teletherapy)
  • What is CBT?
    • Other Evidence-Based Psychotherapies
  • Policies and Forms
    • Course of Treatment
  • Contact
  • Location
  • Blog