Mindfulness in Daily Life: Part 1

Author: Diana Gordon, Psy.D.
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In the past few years, there has been a tremendous amount of media coverage touting the benefits of mindfulness meditation. There is good reason for this: there is now an overwhelming body of evidence indicating that mindfulness is effective for helping people manage depression, anxiety, and other difficult feelings. Many of our patients tell us that they’d love to try meditating, but it’s too difficult. They mention that they don’t know how to do it, or that it’s difficult for them to clear their minds. A lot of people talk about how when they try to meditate, their mind seems to wander nonstop!

The good news is that you don’t actually have to clear your mind in order to practice mindfulness. There are a variety of mindfulness practices that help you relax and unwind. In our three part Mindfulness In Daily Life series, we will introduce you to a variety of mindfulness practices and teach you to apply these skills everyday.

In this post, we will talk about three simple skills that you can use to turn any activity into a mindfulness practice. Those skills are Observe, Describe, and Participate. By using these skills, you can practice mindfulness at any time. You can incorporate mindfulness into your day at a time that works for you, and you can use the skills anytime you need to calm down. You’ll notice that as you practice these skills more and more, you’ll get more and more adept at using them during times of high stress, anxiety, or other difficult emotions.

Observe:

• Attend to events, emotions, and other behavior responses
• Don’t try to avoid events/emotions if they are painful, and don’t try to prolong them if they’re pleasant
• Observing allows us to become aware of and fully experience what is happening in the moment
• Stepping back from events and mindfully observing them can help us know ourselves and our emotional experiences better
• You can observe any event or emotional experience in your life. It is most difficult to observe events and emotions that are intense and/or painful.
• Ways to practice:
  • Observe an inanimate object, such as a pen, a water bottle, or another object within view. Focus on simply observing the object carefully, and don’t let thoughts or feelings get in your way.
  • Listen to music and focus on observing the lyrics, musical instruments, singer’s voice, etc without values or judgment
  • Wash dishes, fold laundry, or do other household chores while paying close attention to what you observe. Stick to the facts, not your feelings about the activity.

Describe:

• As you observe and become aware of what is happening in the moment, you may notice thoughts that come up about what you observe (for ex, while watching dishes, you might think “the water is hot”).  These thoughts can allow you to describe an experience in a highly specific fashion without focusing on subjective judgments or feelings
• Describing allows you to stay in the present and to become even more aware of your experience
• Describing things that you observe without judgment can also help you calm down when you are feeling highly emotional. It allows you to focus on just the facts, so you know that your strong feelings aren’t clouding your judgment.
• Our thoughts and emotions are not always factual. For example, we may be afraid of things that are not actually dangerous to us. By practicing observing without judgment, you can learn to separate your factual observations from your thoughts and feelings.
• You can acknowledge your feelings when you are describing by applying verbal labels to them. For example, you might say “I feel frustrated when I am folding laundry” or “I feel nervous when I think about the dinner party I am attending tonight.” Labeling feelings in this way makes it clear that they are not factual.
• You can label your thoughts in the same way. For example, you might say “I think that my friend is angry with me.” This makes it clear that your thought is just a hypothesis, and may or may not be factual.
• Ways to practice:
  • Choose an experience that you have regularly, such as exercising, cooking, or showering. Observe and describe the experience without judgment.
  •  Describe what you are currently doing or seeing. Think about what you hear, touch, taste, smell, etc.

Participate:

• Participating means remaining fully present and aware when engaged in an activity
•  Rather than simply observing your experience, Participating allows you to become one with your experience and fully embrace it.
• When you participate fully in the moment, you are able to step back from the rest of your life and leave behind those thoughts and feelings temporarily. This allows you to fully enjoy the present moment, which can help you relax and recharge. If you are highly emotionally distressed, fully participating in an activity unrelated to your distress can give you a mental vacation.
• You may sometimes notice that you don’t fully appreciate pleasurable experiences. For example, many people have had the experience of eating something delicious while distracted (perhaps by TV or conversation) and not feeling satisfied afterwards. Other people may notice that when they are spending time with friends or family they may be thinking about other things and not fully enjoying the experience. Tuning in and participating in these experiences leads to greater enjoyment and satisfaction.
• Ways to practice
  • Try eating a meal or a snack with no distractions (no TV, no conversation, etc). Really observe and describe the food that you are eating, and be aware of how the food looks, tastes, and smells. Notice how the experience makes you feel.
  • Instead of listening to the radio or talking on the phone during your morning commute, really tune in to the sights and sensations of driving. Pay attention to what you notice along your route and describe it in detail. Notice how your body feels and what the experience is like.

Start by choosing a time each day to practice mindfulness. Many patients find that they are most consistent when they choose a task every day to do mindfully. For example, some patients will choose to brush their teeth or take a shower mindfully each day. During that activity, practice observing, describing, and participating. Notice what it feels like to mindfully complete these tasks, and notice how it impacts your mood afterwards. As you gain more familiarity with these skills, try applying them during times of distress. Notice whether using these skills helps you feel calmer and reduces negative emotions.

Stay tuned for part 2 of our mindfulness series, which will introduce 3 advanced mindfulness skills to enhance your daily practice. After that, Part 3 of our series will introduce a structured process for applying mindfulness to difficult situations. In the meantime, start practicing these skills! Feel free to contact us if you’d like additional information about how you can begin and sustain a mindfulness practice to improve your mental health. ​